all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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