Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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