she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
