no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize