the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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