It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
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My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
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I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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