so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
