I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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