i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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