He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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