8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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