I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
