i think my tv is drunk
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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