Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
