party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
