I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
