My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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