two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You are the jesus of drinking
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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