K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
