EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
