K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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