I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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