so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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