how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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