Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
