I looked at my own cervix.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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