The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
