I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
