if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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