When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I am one with the molecules
Randomize
