I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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