i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
So. Much. Porn.
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