So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize