so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
