Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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