Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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