I could have mohawked her pubes.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize