she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
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It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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