I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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