I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize