The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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