Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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