so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
