my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
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