Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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