everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
