New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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