girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
