I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
How's work?
Spinning.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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