I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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