He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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