i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize