come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
