dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
