jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
