i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
