so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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