Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
