sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
