I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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