I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
