I feel like I'm in dance class right now
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
