Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
