I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
