If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
