Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i think i just lost a toe
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
